Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Momma Bear in Me Is Coming Out! - Kindergarten Bullies




Days like this, I wish we were a homeschooling family...

Upon dropping the kids off from school this afternoon, Dave informed me that during recession, Reed was punched in the face and stomach by one of his classmates.  The incident was witnessed by the teacher, who made the offender walk the track for the rest of recess, wrote the child up and contacted the parent(s).  Thankfully, Reed wasn't hurt and doesn't seem the worse for wear.  He even said he had a good day at school!  

But, this Momma Bear is seething.  It's not just the incident today.  But, incident after incident that has been happening since the beginning of the school year.  Usually by the same one or two boys in the class that don't seem to know how to behave.  It started with poking.  Then, pushing while in line.  At that point, we went to the teacher and expressed to her our concerns.  We also spoke to Reed about standing up for himself and going to his teachers when someone pushed or poked him.  But, things really came to a head when Ashleigh happened to witness a group of boys pulling on Reed and pushing him to the ground repeatedly as her class passed by the playground.  Angered and upset, we requested a meeting with both the school principal and Reed's teacher immediately.

The principal was very attentive and took the matter very seriously.  Like us, he wanted to make sure Reed felt comfortable and safe at school.  He also (as tactfully and as PC as he could) stated most of the school's discipline issues resulted from boys in homes without fathers.  He noted those boys seemed to lack the understanding of when roughhousing is appropriate and when it's not.  Dave and I left the meeting very satisfied with the measures the principal and teacher put in place to stop the harassment.  And for awhile, Reed did not report any troubling incidents from school.

But, now this...sigh.  It's just frustrating!  While it's unfortunate this boy comes from a "challenging" home environment, that's not my concern.  My primary concern is for MY child!  I'm sure the teachers are frustrated as well.  They've already placed this particular boy to a table by himself due to his disruptive behaviors in the classroom.  And, I guess in today's world, kids aren't sent to detention anymore.  I guess it hurts their self-esteem or someone might accuse the school of racism. {rolls eyes}

I hate that my baby's first year of elementary school has been like this.  I remember telling Reed when he was in preschool how exciting big kid school would be.  And, that he would finally get to go to the same school as Ash & Clay.  They both had absolutely wonderful, positive kindergarten experiences.  It saddens me that Reed's has not been the same. 

Mary Ellen

12 comments:

  1. Mary Ellen, I am a teacher. We moved last summer and I'm not teaching since then but I wanted to chime in here. Don't back down when talking to the school. At this point they just want to get the school year over with. You know? Be adamant about your concerns and insistent that your child isn't in class with either of those boys next year. Teachers and principals are empathetic towards the kids who come from troubled backgrounds but that is really not your problem. If those kids are allowed to bully at such a young age it will continue.

    I really hope it gets better for your baby. I know as a mom that's really all that matters to you. :)

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  2. Thank you for your insight, Stacey!

    Mary Ellen

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  3. This makes me so mad! You are handling it well and I agree that I would insist those boys are not in the same class with your son next year.

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  4. I agree with everyone here. Honestly, I taught school until recently. This is public school. Find a different school for your child and observe before you send him there. I'm sorry your son experienced this but it was in my classroom each year and grew bigger as the years went by. It was not my choice. I was told what I could and could not do. Best to you and everyone who wants only good for your child.

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    1. Thank you for your input, Rita! Our oldest two attend the same school and kindergarten for them was so different than it has been for Reed. Not even in preschool did we deal with anything like this! But as my husband noted, the preschool was private and now we're dealing with a public school.

      Mary Ellen

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  5. I hope it gets better for him too. As someone else said, don't back down when talking to the school about the issue.

    I haven't commented recently but have been reading and praying for your Momma and your family!

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    1. Thanks, Mary Ann! And thank you for the prayers. They're greatly appreciated!

      Mary Ellen

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  6. I also agree totally with Stacey`s comment. Bullying is unacceptable behaviour. And if it`s not dealt with correctly the bullying will continue, and in some cases get worse. My daughter who is dislexic was bullied at the age of 10 by a classmate who eventually stabbed her in the back with a pencil. The bully was then expelled from the school, but the bullying had gone on for more than a year by then, dispite my protests and many meetings with school staff, before the final incident. Stick to your guns and keep voicing your concerns to get procedures changed. Good luck.

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    1. Thanks, Sarina! My biggest worry is that the bullying will get worse and lead to injury. I'm sorry that happened to your daughter.

      Mary Ellen

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    2. If you find you have no luck with the school staff, address school government with your concerns. Encourage your son to keep you informed about what happens to him in class and give him asurance that you are doing everything you can to protect him from further harm.

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  7. Have you contacted the bullie's parents?
    Maybe a meeting with school staff and parents would be more fruitful.

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