A Different Kind of Floral Valentine's Day Gift

No roses this year.  But, there were flowers :)

A pretty set of floral dinnerware with a coordinating set in my favorite shade of blue. 

 

 

Threshold Haylee & Wellsbridge Aqua

 

 

Mary Ellen



Lace Anniversary

 

 

 

13 years ago today

 

Happy Anniversary, Honey!

 

 



Uncertainty

The last few months have been such a tumultuous season for our family.  Now, another curve ball has been thrown our way.  As you may know, my husband works for the State government.  Apparently, there is a measure before the State House of Representatives that would eliminate several positions within his department - including his.  Nothing is certain at this point as voting and such still needs to take place.  But, by the end of June, it's possible Dave would be out of a job.  We've walked this path before.  Even though I find myself fighting to hold back tears, I know we will persevere.

While this was completely unexpected, looking back over the last few weeks, I can see God's hand moving behind the scenes.  When my Mother was first hospitalized back in April with internal bleeding, we went into financial emergency mode.  Dave cut back some budget categories and directed the surplus to our emergency fund.  The thinking at the time was to have extra on hand should we need to find last minute summer care for the children.  So, we're already in financial storm cloud/bare budget/savings mode.  Just now, it's a different storm cloud!  And recently, I began feeling the need (call) to pray for my husband.  I've always prayed for my husband, my kids and our families.  But, this calling is different.  It's a call to pray with more intention specifically for my husband.  I'm constantly amazed at how God knows all our needs even before we become aware of them!

Mary Ellen

On Wifely Submission & Working Outside of the Home

The following excerpts are from the blog, Sunshine Mary:

"My great-grandmother worked, but she was not a career woman.  Her purpose in working was to serve her family, not to serve her own ego or materialistic desires.  The Proverbs 31 woman worked both inside and outside the home:

She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. (verse 16)

She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant. (verse 24)

She worked outside the home, but this was her motivation in doing so:

She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness. (verse 27)

A woman’s primary concern, whether she is working at home or outside the home, is for the well-being of her household."


"A Christian wife is concerned with pleasing her husband, not herself; she is concerned with her family’s well-being, not her own preferences.  She doesn’t fight against her husband; she submits to him."


"Your obedience to your husband is more pleasing to God than whether you spend your day at home or in the workplace."


I encourage you to read the post in its entirety - Traditionalist Marriage versus Christian Marriage Exemplifies Selfish Rebellion versus Selfless Obedience.

~

 As a Christian and (far from perfect!) submitted wife that works outside of the home, the above really resonated with me.  I'm not working to climb corporate ladders or to maintain a lifestyle.  I work simply because my husband feels it is best for our family to have two incomes at this time.  In the Bible, Ephesians 5:22-24 speaks of wives submitting to their own husbands in everything.  For me the "everything" includes working outside of the home!  It should also be noted, the passage says, own husband.  While one husband may feel that it is best for his wife to be at home, another may feel differently.  However in each instance, the husband is doing what is proper for their household.  It is challenging at times to be somewhere other than where your heart desires.  Yet, I know in doing so, I'm honoring my husband and looking well to the ways of my household.  

Mary Ellen   

Can A Mom Really Put Herself First?

Image Credit

A week ago, I found myself in the ER suffering from abdominal pain that seemed to get worse by the minute.  The tests ran by the ER doctor showed nothing of a life-threatening nature, but the reason for the pain remained unexplained.  As I was on the mend, a common refrain from those around me was to put myself first.  Sensible advice, but one thought crossed my mind - can a Mom ever really put herself first?  Can I put myself first when meeting deadlines are approaching and I'm the one solely responsible for getting the work done?  Can I put myself first when lunches need to be packed, homework needs to be done, teacher conferences need to be attended?  Dinner still needs to be made, floors swept, toilets cleaned and the cat who can't seem to grasp the concept of a litter box still needs to be cleaned up after.  Even when I'm sick, my children still need an attentive mother, my husband still needs a dependable wife and my aging mother sill needs a daughter to juggle her various medical appointments.  So, how is a Mom supposed to put herself first exactly?

*After following up with my primary care physician, an ultrasound revealed the source of the pain to be a particularly troublesome ovarian cyst.  So, thankfully nothing serious!

Mary Ellen

    

A Sweet Note From A Stranger

After spending the morning at the State Fair with the kids (and having a great time!), we stopped for lunch on the way home.  As we were eating, an older Asian lady approached our table and handed Dave a folded napkin.  She smiled, then turned and walked away.  Dave opened the napkin to find this note written on the inside:

"Your wife is so pretty and act so refined.  Your children gorgeous like her Mom."

 

I was so touched by her act of kindness.  And my husband was the proudest man in that restaurant!

 

Mary Ellen   

Division of Labor

Vintage half apron from SuzAnna's Antiques

A recent study revealed that couples who share housework equally, have a significantly higher divorce rate than those where the woman does the majority of the housework.  In addition, women who did more of the housework did so of their own choosing and were just as happy as couples who took a more modern approach to household chores.  In our own home, we take a very traditional approach to homecaring tasks.  My husband handles the outside work.  And, I (along with my Mother) take care of the inside. 

Inside of our home, I take care of the cooking (including meal planning, shopping, baking, canning), daily cleaning tasks, most of the dishwasher loading/unloading (my Mother also helps with this), pet care, maintaining the calendar and appointments, taking care of clothing needs for the children, decorating and making things pretty around the house!  My Mother does the great majority of the laundry, sewing and all of the ironing because when she moved in with us, she made it known that her way was the only and best way!  So, I just make sure she has all the laundry supplies she needs :)  Outside of the home, my husband handles lawn care, car maintenance, gutters, garbage and home repairs (doing them himself or hiring out).  He also handles the finances and bill paying, discipline of the children and has the final say on major family decisions.  Oh, and squashing bugs and reaching things that have been placed on the top shelf and pushed all the way to the back!  There are a few areas where roles are crossed. The garden is outside and that's primarily my little hobby.  My husband is much better at organizing.  So, he usually organizes the pantry, closets, the kids' toys, even the refrigerator.  And, he prefers to make his own lunch.  Which is usually a combination of leftovers from dinner and his own creations.  Child rearing, of course, is something we both actively take part in!

Even though I work outside of the home, our approach to homecaring has never struck me as being unfair.  I grew up watching my own Mother work and maintain a home.  It just felt natural to me to take on the bulk of the housework when I became a wife.  Call me old-fashioned, but it works for us!

How is housework handled in your home?

Mary Ellen

 
        

Really Random Stuff

 

My Big Sis & I

(she's rocking the bell bottoms, I'm rocking the pig tails!)

No time to blog...Last week was incredibly busy (as is this week!).  My oldest sister made her annual visit.  It's always good to be in her company.  And the kids quite enjoy the spoiling they receive when their Aunt is in town!  Added responsibilities have me on my toes at work.  It's almost as if I've been assigned another position while still working my current position.  Well, it's exactly like that!  But, at least there's an end in sight to the current insanity.  I just have to make it there!  The kids brought home their first of the school year sniffles and spread it around.  Happens every year about this time.  Thank goodness for Cold-Eeze!  My cold symptoms were pretty much gone by Friday.  Just in time for our weekend beach trip!  With all that, there's been very little time to blog.  So, I haven't shared my new vintage hats, my new canner, new-to-me work dresses, my garden (or lack thereof).  But, I'll get around to it. :)

Mountains to climb...I'm currently facing a mountain on a personal level.  Or, at least it seems like a mountain to me.  The enormity of the task has me doubting my ability to succeed.  But, I'm reminded of the verse in Matthew 17, "...for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you."   I must move a mountain!

Competitive Motherhood...I'm not a competitive person.  In fact, I probably shy away from it whenever possible.  Dave, on the other hand, is very competitive.  And working in a male-dominated company, so are most of the gentlemen at work.  In men, I respect and can even understand the competitive nature.  It's like iron sharpening iron.  Dave thrives on competition and he's really on top of his game in situations where he must compete.  But in women, I don't find it so appealing.  Especially as it relates to mothering.  I absolutely understand being proud of your children, being proud to be a wife and mother.  But, I don't understand the mindset involved when one mother attempts to make another feel less than.  I've always held the belief that if one is truly content in their life and the choices they've made, there's no room for comparing and competing with someone else.

Much ado about nothing...Recently, I came across some articles in what would be considered the "traditional" side of the blogosphere about interracial couplings.  The discussions were "interesting" to say the least!  As a person who is married interracially, I think from the outside looking in, there's a tendency to over inflate the role of racial differences.  And to a degree, that's understandable if someone has never dated or isn't married to someone of another race.  But, I think what you'll find with most interracial couples are two people who connected on shared values, beliefs and/or experiences.  My husband and I had similar values, similar upbringings (two-parent, Christian homes).  We connected simply as a man and a woman.  We were compatible and could absolutely see ourselves marrying another.  We didn't see being different races as some great divide between us.  It just isn't.  Not then, not now.

Well, that's all I got for now!

Mary Ellen 

12 Years & Counting!

 

September 2, 2000

David & Mary Ellen

 

Celebrating 12 years of wedded bliss!

From Scratch - Peach Pie Recipe

The morning after my peach jam canning session, I mentioned to Dave that maybe I'd make another batch of jam with the remaining peaches.  To which he replied, "Or maybe a peach pie".  Then, I pondered peach salsa.  And once again his response was, "Or maybe peach pie".  At that moment, I got it!  Peach pie wasn't merely a suggestion, but a big hint, hint!  So, when I came in from work that evening, I busied myself in the kitchen working on a peach pie completely from scratch!

For the pie crust, I used The Pioneer Woman's Perfect Pie Crust recipe.  I've made it many times before for her Flat Apple Pie recipe and it is so good!  And very easy to make!  I divided the dough into two, wrapped in plastic wrap and refrigerated for about 30 minutes.  While the crust was chilling, I made the pie filling.

Peach Pie Filling:

5 -6 medium peaches, peeled, pitted and sliced
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 - 3/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Combine peaches, flour, sugar and cinnamon in a bowl.  Set aside.

I took the crusts from the refrigerator and rolled them out on a floured counter.  I took one of the crusts and placed it in my greased pie pan.  As you can see from the photos, my crust crimping skills could use some work!  Add the peach mixture to the pie pan.  Using my pizza cutter, I cut the second crust into strips and formed a lattice pattern over the peaches.  Not all of them were the same width, but it turned out okay!

Bake the pie at  375 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes. 

Slice and serve with vanilla ice cream and make your peach pie loving husband extremely happy!  Dave especially loved the filling.  He said it was just sweet enough to still allow the natural sweetness of the peaches to come through. 

Hope you have a PEACHY weekend!

Mary Ellen

Loving Day

Richard & Mildred Loving

Image Source

Today is Loving Day, which marks the anniversary of Loving v. Virginia.  The Supreme Court decision which legalized interracial marriage in the United States.  As you may know (or at least have gathered from the family photos I've shared), my husband and I are an interracial couple (married 11 years and counting!) and raising our three biracial children.  I'm happy we live in a time much different than that of Mr. & Mrs. Loving.  While some antiquated attitudes may still exist in the hearts and minds of a few, most people understand the love shared between a man and a woman of different races is no different than that of a same race couple.

 In honor of Loving Day, I thought I'd share a little bit about our own "swirling" experience!

How We Met

Dave and I met in college my sophomore year through a mutual guy friend.  One day out of the blue, this guy told me he had a friend that thought I was cute.  I didn't realize at the time that Dave had relayed this to the guy a year earlier!  I'm not sure why the delay in getting this vital information back to me LOL!  But after being introduced and exchanging glances across the dining hall, Dave asked me out.  Our first date was to an Italian restaurant across the street from campus.  Unbeknownst to me, Dave was so nervous he wrote down topics of discussion on index cards.  He excused himself to the bathroom at one point in our date to check his cards.  Apparently we had covered all the topics in the first 30 minutes of the date!  After that, we went to see a movie on campus (Liar, Liar with Jim Carrey).

After dating exclusively for a few years, we became engaged while still in college.  And then married in September 2000.

How Did Our Families React

 There really wasn't any "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" moment with my family!  My older sisters had dated interracially, so it wasn't shocking to my parents to see their daughter bring home a white guy.  My parents were much more concerned with Dave's character than his color.  In Dave's family, his mother and siblings were very supportive.  Although his mother was worried we may be met with hostile attitudes especially here in the South.  His stepfather on the other hand, did not agree with us marrying.  But Dave's actual father and grandmother, who live out of state, were very supportive and even made the trip down for our big day.  Dave and I decided to focus on the family and friends that did support us and not the lone dissenting voice.  It didn't stop us from getting married and it hasn't stopped us from getting on about our life.  Plus, I'm not in the business of changing hearts.  I'll leave that to God!

 Do People Stare?

 Of course!  But not in the way you might think.  Most people come up to us and tell us they think we have a beautiful family or that the kids are gorgeous.  And there are stares and compliments regarding my vintage inspired dresses and hairstyles, but that's another subject!

Does Being Different Races Cause Conflict Within Our Marriage?

 No!  I can't think of one single moment where race has been an issue between us.  We were raised similarly (both from two parent Christian homes) and share like values.  Race is just not an issue for us as individuals or as a couple. I don't filter my perception of the world through my race, and neither does my husband.

What About the Children?

Well, they're beautiful, happy, healthy and growing like weeds!  But seriously, the children understand they are both white & black.  Fortunately where we live, there are plenty of families just like ours.  So, we're not unique!  Our kids understand that what is more important than skin color is what is in someone's heart.  And that we're all loved and treasured in the eyes of God.

Happy Loving Day!

Mary Ellen        

Thoughts of a Black Republican - North Carolina Amendment One

Please note the opinions expressed in the following post are solely mine.  I usually don't talk politics, preferring to keep blog fare light.  However, the following thoughts have been going through my mind as the May 8th election approaches here in North Carolina.  Feel free to share your opinions in the comments - even disagree with me.  But, I ask that you do so in a respectful manner.  Thanks! ~ Mary Ellen 

On May 8th, North Carolina voters will take to the polls.  At the forefront is Senate Bill 514, known as Amendment One.  The bill proposes an amendment to the state constitution defining marriage between one man and one woman as the only domestic legal union recognized by the state.  Around our quiet little neighborhood, yard signs have sprouted up showing support for both sides of the issue.  When it comes down to where I stand on the matter, I find myself on the fence!

I was raised in a Christian home; Baptist to be exact.  Even though my parents were lifelong Democrats, they maintained traditional, conservative values.  The Bible is clear in regards to marriage - one man, one woman.  That is how I was raised to view marriage.  Even though I'm now apart of a different faith tradition (Catholic), my default when I think of marriage remains the same.

BUT...on the other hand....

Does it have any effect on me or my marriage if two people of the same sex wish to legalize their union?  I would have to say no.  And is it really necessary to amend the state constitution when state law already prohibits same sex couples from marrying?  Then, there is the matter of this video.  Jodie Brunstetter, wife of NC Senator Peter Brunstetter, allegedly states her husband crafted the bill in order to protect the "Caucasin race".  Mrs. Brunstetter is now maintaining her comments were misconstrued.  Well, my marriage doesn't look like this

So does that mean my marriage is not worth protecting because it doesn't further the Caucasin race?  For me, the comments Mrs. Brunstetter is alleged to have made brings to mind that not too long ago, laws existed to prevent the marriage of blacks and whites.  Some of the same arguments offered against same sex marriage today (harmful to the fabric of society, harmful to children born of those unions, unnatural, sinful) were also offered against marriages JUST LIKE MINE at one time in this country.  And I can tell you first hand, there is nothing unnatural about the love my husband and I share for one another!

Lots of points to consider before next Tuesday!

Mary Ellen  

Valentine's Day 1998

Valentine's Day 1998

On Valentine's Day in 1998, Dave asked me to be his wife.  I said "yes" of course!  And that set the stage for 11 years (and counting!) of marriage and three beautiful children.  I oftentimes forget that our marriage is not conventional in the sense that we're different races.  To us, our marriage is normal - very normal!  It's home, work, the kids, just the beautiful ebb and flow of ordinary, everyday life.  Most people would assume that being an interracial couple would present numerous cultural obstacles that would strain a relationship.  But for us, that hasn't been the case.  We both pretty much grew up in similar "cultures" - both from hardworking, two parent, Christian homes.  The only difference being Dave's family is originally from up North, while my family has deep Southern roots.  We've been very fortunate to find acceptance of our marriage.  Some people express positive support, commenting on how beautiful our children are.  But for most, it's a non-issue.  Which is fine by me!  Because it's a non-issue for us as well.

     

Richard & Mildred Loving

Image Source

But life wasn't always easy for interracial couples in this country.  In July 1958, Richard and Mildred Loving were arrested during a nighttime raid of their Virginia home.  Their crime, being married - Richard was white and Mildred was black and Native American.  The couple was jailed, convicted of felonies and banished from the state of Virginia.  Exiled to Washington DC, the couple longed to return to their home and families back in Virginia.  With assistance from the ACLU, the couple took their case all the way to the Supreme Court.  In June 1967, the Supreme Court ruled unanimously in favor of the Lovings in their case against the State of Virginia.  As a result of the Supreme Court decision, sixteen states were ordered to overturn their bans on interracial marriage.

Tonight at 9 PM EST, HBO will air a documentary about Richard and Mildred entitled "The Loving Story".  This is one of those times I wish we hadn't canceled our HBO!  A great story of love on this day devoted to love.

Preview - The Loving Story

Happy Valentine's Day!

Mary Ellen      

Thrift Store Dresser - TV Media Stand

From thrift store dresser to TV stand

This is a story of love - a thrifty kind of love between a man and his wife.  And a pretty cool robin's egg blue TV stand!  One Saturday afternoon, Dave and I were browsing a local thrift store with the kids.  We both spotted this solid, wood dresser with nice details on the drawers.  The dresser was in pretty good shape, just a few scratches and missing some drawer pulls.  It was priced at $25.  I liked it, but thought there was no way Dave would agree to paying for a dresser when we've come across so many in the past on the curbside.

A few days go by and while talking with Dave, we discover that we're both still thinking about the dresser LOL!  So the next day, while I was at work, Dave and Reedy go back to the thrift store.  The dresser is still there and Dave haggles the price down to $20.  Since Dave had Reed with him (my Momma was out of town), he couldn't take the back seats out of the van.  So he had to strap the dresser to the top of the van and drive back across town with it on the roof.   

Drawer details

I came home to find the dresser under our garage, with Dave already busy priming it!  Since it would be the focal point of the family room, I chose one of my favorite blue-gray/robin's egg blue paint colors (Valspar Atlantic Gray).  Once Dave finished painting the dresser, I added black glaze to bring out the details on the drawer fronts.

I love it!  And think fondly of my husband's sweet gesture every time I look at it :)

Mary Ellen